Thursday, August 14, 2008
I can't believe that I only have 2 more treatments left. I remember like it was yesterday going through my second treatment and thinking that there is no way I can do this. But as I recall a friend saying to me after she underwent chemo that she was amazed at what she could endure. Thanks Jennifer Morton for those words of encouragement and all that you have done for me! You are a good friend! I also want to Thank from the bottom of my heart...my Sunday School class! You have ministered to us, prayed over us and faithfully brought us meals. It has been a very tough year for our family but you all have helped lighten our load. Through this journey as I called it, I have reminded of the awesomeness of my Heavenly Father. He is good, holy, gracious, faithful, truthful, just, all knowing, ever present (Amen!) and all powerful! I believe with all my heart that I have gotten through all that I have and been told how good I look only due to being bathed in prayer. I thank God for a Godly Mother and friends. I thank those that don't even know our family and are praying for us, even bringing us meals. An example of God bringing strangers into my life to minister to me just happened on Monday. I had to go downtown for my chemo due to the doctors at Baptist South being on vacation. I arrived at 9:30am and it was very busy. They couldn't locate my chart and had to get in touch with my Dr. to verify treatment drugs and dosages, etc. By 11am things were just starting to get going and I told that my Dr. had ordered some extra fluids (calcium and magnesium and each of them would add an extra hour to my treatment time. I was told I would be there until 4pm or so. I did not have a friend along that could run and get me something to eat and I was too far away from everyone that I know to bring me something to eat. I had not brought anything either. (Didn't expect to be there ALL DAY!) I usually finish by 1pm'ish and grab something on my way home or eat when I get home. Another patient that was there just for lab work overheard the nurse tell me I was stuck there all day offered to get me something to eat from the cafeteria in the building. She saved me! I would have been miserable not eating any real food all day. The chemo treatment rooms have snacks but crackers only go so far! God is Great! I also want to thank my mother in-law and father in-law for chauffeuring me around to my appointments when I am not feeling up to driving myself. Thanks John and Candy for Sonny's... Brooke says it was the best meal brought to us. She loves ribs!
Sunday, August 3, 2008
This is long but please read Tony Snow's Testimony
January 19th, 2008
Tony Snow’s Testimony
There may be some that do not know Tony Snow and others that do know him. Casting aside the fact that he worked with President Bush as his press secretary until his recent reoccurrence of cancer, I hope you will read his testimony. It will make you sit up and think. It is awesome. If you think it is worth while, pass it along to someone, for you never know who might just need this testimony.
This is an outstanding testimony from Tony Snow, President Bush's Press Secretary, and his fight with cancer. Commentator and broadcaster Tony Snow announced that he had colon cancer in 2005. Following surgery and chemotherapy, Snow joined the Bush Administration in April 2006 as press secretary. Unfortunately, on March 23, 2007, Snow, 51, a husband and father of three, announced the cancer had recurred, with tumors found in his abdomen,- leading to surgery in April, followed by more chemotherapy. Snow went back to work in the White House Briefing Room on May 30, but has resigned since, "for economic reasons," and to pursue " other interests."
It needs little intro… it speaks for itself.
___________________________________________
"Blessings arrive in unexpected packages, - in my case, cancer. Those of us with potentially fatal diseases - and there are millions in America today - find ourselves in the odd position of coping with our mortality while trying to fathom God's will. Although it would be the height of presumption to declare with confidence "What It All Means," Scripture provides powerful hints and consolations.
The first is that we shouldn't spend too much time trying to answer the "why" questions: Why me? Why must people suffer? Why can't someone else get sick? We can't answer such things, and the questions themselves often are designed more to express our anguish than to solicit an answer.
I don't know why I have cancer, and I don't much care. It is what it is, a plain and indisputable fact. Yet even while staring into a mirror darkly, great and stunning truths begin to take shape. Our maladies define a central feature of our existence: We are fallen. We are imperfect. Our bodies give out.
But despite this, - or because of it, - God offers the possibility of salvation and grace. We don't know how the narrative of our lives will end, but we get to choose how to use the interval between now and the moment we meet our Creator face-to-face.
Second, we need to get past the anxiety. The mere thought of dying can send adrenaline flooding through your system.. A dizzy, unfocused panic seizes you. Your heart thumps; your head swims. You think of nothingness and swoon. You fear partings; you worry about the impact on family and friends. You fidget and get nowhere.
To regain footing, remember that we were born not into death, but into life, and that the journey continues after we have finished our days on this earth. We accept this on faith, but that faith is nourished by a conviction that stirs even within many non believing hearts - an intuition that the gift of life, once given, cannot be taken away. Those who have been stricken enjoy the special privilege of being able to fight with their might, main, and faith to live fully, richly, exuberantly - no matter how their days may be numbered.
Third, we can open our eyes and hearts. God relishes surprise. We want lives of simple, predictable ease,- smooth, even trails as far as the eye can see, - but God likes to go off-road. He provokes us with twists and turns. He places us in predicaments that seem to defy our endurance; and comprehension - and yet don't. By His love and grace, we persevere. The challenges that make our hearts leap and stomachs churn invariably strengthen our faith and grant measures of wisdom and joy we would not experience otherwise.
'You Have Been Called'. Picture yourself in a hospital bed. The fog of anaesthesia has begun to wear away. A doctor stands at your feet, a loved one holds your hand at the side. "It's cancer," the healer announces.
The natural reaction is to turn to God and ask him to serve as a cosmic Santa. "Dear God, make it all go away. Make everything simpler." But another voice whispers: "You have been called." Your quandary has drawn you closer to God, closer to those you love, closer to the issues that matter,- and has dragged into insignificance the banal concerns that occupy our "normal time."
There's another kind of response, although usually short-lived an inexplicable shudder of excitement, as if a clarifying moment of calamity has swept away everything trivial and tiny, and placed before us the challenge of important questions.
The moment you enter the Valley of the Shadow of Death, things change. You discover that Christianity is not something doughy, passive, pious, and soft. Faith may be the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. But it also draws you into a world shorn of fearful caution. The life of belief teems with thrills, boldness, danger, shocks, reversals, triumphs, and epiphanies. Think of Paul, traipsing through the known world and contemplating trips to what must have seemed the antipodes ( Spain ), shaking the dust from his sandals, worrying not about the morrow, but only about the moment.
There's nothing wilder than a life of humble virtue, - for it is through selflessness and service that God wrings from our bodies and spirits the most we ever could give, the most we ever could offer, and the most we ever could do.
Finally, we can let love change everything. When Jesus was faced with the prospect of crucifixion, he grieved not for himself, but for us. He cried for Jerusalem before entering the holy city. From the Cross, he took on the cumulative burden of human sin and weakness, and begged for forgiveness onour behalf.
We get repeated chances to learn that life is not about us, that we acquire purpose and satisfaction by sharing in God's love for others. Sickness gets us part way there. It reminds us of our limitations and dependence. But it also gives us a chance to serve the healthy. A minister friend of mine observes that people suffering grave afflictions often acquire the faith of two people, while loved ones accept the burden of two peoples' worries and fears.
'Learning How to Live'. Most of us have watched friends as they drifted toward God's arms, not with resignation, but with peace and hope. In so doing, they have taught us not how to die, but how to live. They have emulated Christ by transmitting the power and authority of love.
I sat by my best friend's bedside a few years ago as a wasting cancer took him away. He kept at his table a worn Bible and a 1928 edition of the Book of Common Prayer. A shattering grief disabled his family, many of his old friends, and at least one priest. Here was an humble and very good guy, someone who apologized when he winced with pain because he thought it made his guest uncomfortable. He retained his equanimity and good humor literally until his last conscious moment. "I'm going to try to beat [this cancer]," he told me several months before he died. "But if I don't, I'll see you on the other side."
His gift was to remind everyone around him that even though God doesn't promise us tomorrow, he does promise us eternity, - filled with life and love we cannot comprehend, - and that one can in the throes of sickness point the rest of us toward timeless truths that will help us weather future storms.
Through such trials, God bids us to choose: Do we believe, or do we not? Will we be bold enough to love, daring enough to serve, humble enough to submit, and strong enough to acknowledge our limitations? Can we surrender our concern in things that don't matter so that we might devote our remaining days to things that do?
When our faith flags, he throws reminders in our way. Think of the prayer warriors in our midst. They change things, and those of us who have been on the receiving end of their petitions and intercessions know it. It is hard to describe, but there are times when suddenly the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and you feel a surge of the Spirit. Somehow you just know: Others have chosen, when talking to the Author of all creation, to lift us up, - to speak of us!
This is love of a very special order. But so is the ability to sit back and appreciate the wonder of every created thing. The mere thought of death somehow makes every blessing vivid, every happiness more luminous and intense. We may not know how our contest with sickness will end, but we have felt the ineluctable touch of God.
What is man that Thou art mindful of him? We don't know much, but we know this: No matter where we are, no matter what we do, no matter how bleak or frightening our prospects, each and every one of us who believe, each and every day, lies in the same safe and impregnable place, in the hollow of God's hand."
T. Snow
Tony Snow’s Testimony
There may be some that do not know Tony Snow and others that do know him. Casting aside the fact that he worked with President Bush as his press secretary until his recent reoccurrence of cancer, I hope you will read his testimony. It will make you sit up and think. It is awesome. If you think it is worth while, pass it along to someone, for you never know who might just need this testimony.
This is an outstanding testimony from Tony Snow, President Bush's Press Secretary, and his fight with cancer. Commentator and broadcaster Tony Snow announced that he had colon cancer in 2005. Following surgery and chemotherapy, Snow joined the Bush Administration in April 2006 as press secretary. Unfortunately, on March 23, 2007, Snow, 51, a husband and father of three, announced the cancer had recurred, with tumors found in his abdomen,- leading to surgery in April, followed by more chemotherapy. Snow went back to work in the White House Briefing Room on May 30, but has resigned since, "for economic reasons," and to pursue " other interests."
It needs little intro… it speaks for itself.
___________________________________________
"Blessings arrive in unexpected packages, - in my case, cancer. Those of us with potentially fatal diseases - and there are millions in America today - find ourselves in the odd position of coping with our mortality while trying to fathom God's will. Although it would be the height of presumption to declare with confidence "What It All Means," Scripture provides powerful hints and consolations.
The first is that we shouldn't spend too much time trying to answer the "why" questions: Why me? Why must people suffer? Why can't someone else get sick? We can't answer such things, and the questions themselves often are designed more to express our anguish than to solicit an answer.
I don't know why I have cancer, and I don't much care. It is what it is, a plain and indisputable fact. Yet even while staring into a mirror darkly, great and stunning truths begin to take shape. Our maladies define a central feature of our existence: We are fallen. We are imperfect. Our bodies give out.
But despite this, - or because of it, - God offers the possibility of salvation and grace. We don't know how the narrative of our lives will end, but we get to choose how to use the interval between now and the moment we meet our Creator face-to-face.
Second, we need to get past the anxiety. The mere thought of dying can send adrenaline flooding through your system.. A dizzy, unfocused panic seizes you. Your heart thumps; your head swims. You think of nothingness and swoon. You fear partings; you worry about the impact on family and friends. You fidget and get nowhere.
To regain footing, remember that we were born not into death, but into life, and that the journey continues after we have finished our days on this earth. We accept this on faith, but that faith is nourished by a conviction that stirs even within many non believing hearts - an intuition that the gift of life, once given, cannot be taken away. Those who have been stricken enjoy the special privilege of being able to fight with their might, main, and faith to live fully, richly, exuberantly - no matter how their days may be numbered.
Third, we can open our eyes and hearts. God relishes surprise. We want lives of simple, predictable ease,- smooth, even trails as far as the eye can see, - but God likes to go off-road. He provokes us with twists and turns. He places us in predicaments that seem to defy our endurance; and comprehension - and yet don't. By His love and grace, we persevere. The challenges that make our hearts leap and stomachs churn invariably strengthen our faith and grant measures of wisdom and joy we would not experience otherwise.
'You Have Been Called'. Picture yourself in a hospital bed. The fog of anaesthesia has begun to wear away. A doctor stands at your feet, a loved one holds your hand at the side. "It's cancer," the healer announces.
The natural reaction is to turn to God and ask him to serve as a cosmic Santa. "Dear God, make it all go away. Make everything simpler." But another voice whispers: "You have been called." Your quandary has drawn you closer to God, closer to those you love, closer to the issues that matter,- and has dragged into insignificance the banal concerns that occupy our "normal time."
There's another kind of response, although usually short-lived an inexplicable shudder of excitement, as if a clarifying moment of calamity has swept away everything trivial and tiny, and placed before us the challenge of important questions.
The moment you enter the Valley of the Shadow of Death, things change. You discover that Christianity is not something doughy, passive, pious, and soft. Faith may be the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. But it also draws you into a world shorn of fearful caution. The life of belief teems with thrills, boldness, danger, shocks, reversals, triumphs, and epiphanies. Think of Paul, traipsing through the known world and contemplating trips to what must have seemed the antipodes ( Spain ), shaking the dust from his sandals, worrying not about the morrow, but only about the moment.
There's nothing wilder than a life of humble virtue, - for it is through selflessness and service that God wrings from our bodies and spirits the most we ever could give, the most we ever could offer, and the most we ever could do.
Finally, we can let love change everything. When Jesus was faced with the prospect of crucifixion, he grieved not for himself, but for us. He cried for Jerusalem before entering the holy city. From the Cross, he took on the cumulative burden of human sin and weakness, and begged for forgiveness onour behalf.
We get repeated chances to learn that life is not about us, that we acquire purpose and satisfaction by sharing in God's love for others. Sickness gets us part way there. It reminds us of our limitations and dependence. But it also gives us a chance to serve the healthy. A minister friend of mine observes that people suffering grave afflictions often acquire the faith of two people, while loved ones accept the burden of two peoples' worries and fears.
'Learning How to Live'. Most of us have watched friends as they drifted toward God's arms, not with resignation, but with peace and hope. In so doing, they have taught us not how to die, but how to live. They have emulated Christ by transmitting the power and authority of love.
I sat by my best friend's bedside a few years ago as a wasting cancer took him away. He kept at his table a worn Bible and a 1928 edition of the Book of Common Prayer. A shattering grief disabled his family, many of his old friends, and at least one priest. Here was an humble and very good guy, someone who apologized when he winced with pain because he thought it made his guest uncomfortable. He retained his equanimity and good humor literally until his last conscious moment. "I'm going to try to beat [this cancer]," he told me several months before he died. "But if I don't, I'll see you on the other side."
His gift was to remind everyone around him that even though God doesn't promise us tomorrow, he does promise us eternity, - filled with life and love we cannot comprehend, - and that one can in the throes of sickness point the rest of us toward timeless truths that will help us weather future storms.
Through such trials, God bids us to choose: Do we believe, or do we not? Will we be bold enough to love, daring enough to serve, humble enough to submit, and strong enough to acknowledge our limitations? Can we surrender our concern in things that don't matter so that we might devote our remaining days to things that do?
When our faith flags, he throws reminders in our way. Think of the prayer warriors in our midst. They change things, and those of us who have been on the receiving end of their petitions and intercessions know it. It is hard to describe, but there are times when suddenly the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, and you feel a surge of the Spirit. Somehow you just know: Others have chosen, when talking to the Author of all creation, to lift us up, - to speak of us!
This is love of a very special order. But so is the ability to sit back and appreciate the wonder of every created thing. The mere thought of death somehow makes every blessing vivid, every happiness more luminous and intense. We may not know how our contest with sickness will end, but we have felt the ineluctable touch of God.
What is man that Thou art mindful of him? We don't know much, but we know this: No matter where we are, no matter what we do, no matter how bleak or frightening our prospects, each and every one of us who believe, each and every day, lies in the same safe and impregnable place, in the hollow of God's hand."
T. Snow
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Well I have been ignoring my blog again....so sorry~Last week chemo was again a no go. My platelets were only 65. Last time my treatment was a no go I was in the 80's. Normal range is 140-400. I was told by another lady getting chemo that once it gets down in the 20's you get a platelet transfusion but my Dr. has not mentioned anything about that at this time. My platelets continue to plummet with each treatment. But thankfully they were back up to 139 yesterday so I am receiving my 9th treatment. Next time I will be in double digits! Yea! I enjoyed my extra week off with my kids. We went tubing down Ichetucknee Springs State Park. We had a blast but getting up early to get there and not returning home till 7pm really wiped me out! I decided to have my Oncologist call me in the new drug he wanted me to take for my Neuropathy. Jim picked it up for me from the pharmacy and when he got home I read the side effects of the drug and you will not believe what it said! This drug may lower your platelets-go figure. Needless to say I have not taken the drug yet. My Oncologist also lowered the dose of one of my chemo drugs to help my body get through the rest of the treatments. I am doing as well as expected this time around. I will get my pump off tomorrow and then I will have to return to the hospital on Thursday to get my Neulasta shot. Apparently my insurance company doesn't want me to get it the same day I get my pump disconnected. I am not looking forward to the shot. It really makes you feel old. Your legs are achey all the time like you just ran a marathon. I thank God everyday for walking with me through this time of trials that my family is undergoing. We praise God that the rentals are now being rented and He has sustained us through this all! God is Awesome! Thanks to all our friends and family for your help and prayers! Especially our Sunday School class~We love you all!
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
It always seems like I am playing catch-up with my blog. It was the usual last week...chemo...dr appt...shot...feeling crappy! I have only four treatments to go. It feel good to say that but I do not look forward to them! The numbness in my feet and hands has gotten worse and my Dr. is concerned. He talked about putting me on another medication to help that but of course it has a list of side effects that don't sound like fun to me! I told him I'll see how I do this week and get back with him. Brooke came back from camp and told us she dedicated her body to God. We are so proud of her decision to stay pure and follow God's plan for her life. My mom returned from Hawaii. She had a good time (who wouldn't!). It is good to have her home. The 4th of July was fun hanging out with family, friends and neighbors. Kelly left for camp yesterday. Thanks to Mindy and Jessica Duva for the meal last week. You both are so sweet to volunteer again to help us out. Please continue to pray for the rentals that are still unrented and the uncertainty of Jim's job. Anheuser-Busch was recently sold to a Belgium company ImBev and word has it that the pension and 401K plan that AB had is going bye-bye. Jim has been there 13 years and is well vested in those programs. I found an interesting site that has some good information regarding Cancer: Questions and Answers. It is http://www.remedylife.com/general/expert/content?cid=1583&ctid=10
Monday, June 30, 2008
Boo Hoo! I was so looking forward to putting this treatment (#8) behind me but the Lord has other plans. My platelets were too low to proceed today so I am on hold until next Monday. Good news is my white blood count is good. I will not dwell on it but rather embrace this week and live life to the fullest. I miss Brooke already and it has been less than 12 hours since she has left. She sure is a pistol but she has a huge heart and can be so sweet when she wants to be. I guess she reminds me of me. I also miss my mom but have talked to her everyday since she left for Hawaii. If I had the money I would catch a plane out tonight and join her! We might go see Wall*E tomorrow. It looks cute and Troy has been so anxious for it to come to the theater. He asked us "what day is it?" everyday while we were camping and finally on Friday he said Wall*E came out today. Then Saturday he said Wall*E came out yesterday...too cute! We heard from our property manager that someone is interested in renting one of our houses so we will see what happens with that....Praise God!
My laptop froze up last week so it went to the repair shop. Let's get caught up on the last two weeks. The Neulasta shot that was given to me to boost my white blood cell counts wasn't as bad as I had heard. My legs were sore like I ran a marathon (daily) and my knees were achy for about 8 days. Kelly did well preparing for her procedure and we received the results last week from her colonoscopy and all findings were normal-Praise God! Jim started his three weeks of vacation last Monday. We spent two days running errands (Kelly got her braces off and now is in a (Gator's) retainer) and getting the camper ready for a trip. I found a place to camp in Ormond Beach called Tomoka State Park. Jim and the kids took Mema to the airport on Wednesday were she flew to Hawaii to meet up with my step-brother Tom and his family. We finished packing when they got back and left for our camping adventure. We just got back yesterday. We all had a good time camping, canoeing, fishing and swimming. We went to the beach a couple of times and took a trip to De Leon Spring State Park for breakfast and a day of swimming in the cool water of the springs. That is a nice place. There is an old sugar mill that has been turned into a restaurant. The tables have an electric griddle build into the table tops where you make your own pancakes. The kids had a blast making their own creations. The chocolate chips were their favorite kind of pancakes to make and I enjoyed the blueberry ones. Brooke leaves today for a week. She is going with our church youth group to a christian camp. This will be her second year going and she really enjoys it. Kelly will be going to camp in two weeks. Last year was her first year going to camp also. Even though she was excited about spending a week with her friends she had a hard time leaving but once she was there she was fine. Today is chemo treatment number 8 out of 12. I woke up yesterday with a sore throat and still have it this morning. I have managed to keep the germs and sickies away this whole time so I pray this too will pass. I probably just over did it the last couple of days. We are still praying for the rentals to rent or sell. Thank you Cindy for getting my kids to VBS the week I had chemo and thanks to all the ladies that provided us meals.
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