My Relay for Life Speech

January 2, 2008 I awoke from having a colonoscopy done and was told by the Dr. that he had found a malignant mass and due to the size he was unable to remove it. He was able to extract a small piece for a biopsy. I had a colonoscopy done because I had noticed blood in my stool. I was in disbelieve, how could I have cancer? I was only 40 years old! I have three kids at home to raise. I was praying for the DR. to be mistaken. Each day that passes leaves you wondering…is it growing, how long have I had it, did we catch it in time?

One week later I was back in his office for him to confirm his findings. It was cancer. The results were not shocking to me; God had been working to prepare me for the news.
The Lord told me this was something I would have to go through but I would not die from it. He tells us in the Bible. “Do not fear, for I am with you.” Isaiah 41:10. That gave me a peace.

As far as I knew we did not have cancer in our family. I would later learn that my deceased Grandmother had colon cancer also.

At this point I was referred to a colorectal surgeon. He told me that I needed to have the section of my colon removed that had the tumor. He was unsure if I would need a temporary colostomy. I would probably need radiation and chemotherapy.

I was scheduled for an endoscopic ultrasound of my colon and a CT scan. Those two tests were needed to determine exactly where the growth was and get a game plan.

At my follow-up appointment with the surgeon I was told that my cancer appeared to be stage one colon cancer. If you have to have cancer you want it to be stage one. That was good news!
The tumor was at the top of my rectum just before my colon. I would not need radiation due to the location of the tumor and he was 99% sure I would not need a colostomy…God is so Good!

February 6, surgery day. I was to have my tumor removed laproscopically along with 18-24” of my colon and the main blood vessel going to that area to ensure that lymph nodes are taken. Everything was to be biopsied once it was removed.

I was given an epidural to help with post surgery pain control.
The surgery took 2 ½ hours and was a success! Other then there being more blood loss than expected my surgeon told me he was so happy with the surgery, that I would not need chemotherapy unless the biopsy report came back positive. I was on cloud 9! I was going to life to be 100 and this chapter in my life is now behind me. PRAISE GOD!

I was in the hospital 5 days and the day I was leaving I got the news. The pathology report came back and out of the 18 lymph nodes that were removed one tested positive. I now had stage 3 cancer.
I was diagnosed with Adenocarcinoma which is the most common – it accounts for 90-95% of all colorectal cancers. I was told to see an Oncologist and start chemo in one month. The battle was not over yet! I thought that was hardly enough time to recover from surgery. I had a railroad track of staples running down my stomach area and I was in so much pain.

After two weeks I was able to get my staples removed and the week after that I had surgery to have a port a cath placed in my chest. It is a direct access to your vein for the chemo drugs.

The Oncologist I was referred to was a sweet and compassionate man. I believe that God gave me all the best doctors for my care.
I was told I needed 12 chemo treatments. I would go every two weeks for treatment at the hospital I also would have a portable pump that I would have to wear for two days after my treatment that would infuse additional chemo drugs into my system.

Through out this ordeal I started a blog or a web diary. The night before I started chemo I wrote:

March 9 As I sit here wondering what tomorrow holds for me, I am reminded of the great love I have for my family and close friends that have been there for me from the beginning. That love doesn’t even come close to the love I feel from my Father God. He has been right beside me through the last two months of the cancer diagnosis, numerous tests, surgeries and recoveries. He tells us in His word “I will never leave you, nor forsake you”. And in Hebrews 13:6 he says “So that we may boldly say, the Lord is my helper, and I will NOT fear what man shall do unto me.”

And when I feel nervous, this verse comes to mind “ Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” Philippians 4:6. That is a great verse when you feel like nothing is going right. I try to remember that “ No matter what I am going through…It can always be worse” !

My first day of chemo at the hospital I arrived at 9am and was taken to a room and shown a video on the side effects of the drugs I would be given. I was then taken to the chemo suite with a dozen recliners where I was hooked up to an I.V. and given a steroid and anti-nausea meds before the chemo drugs or poisons as I learned to call them. I did what most people do that get chemo I slept. I finished around 1 o’clock. I was unhooked from the I.V. and my portable pump hooked up. Two days later I returned to the hospital to have my portable pump removed. The nausea starts almost right away even with the drugs to prevent it. I often got a headache, was nausous, crampy, felt out of sorts, didn’t have much energy. This went on for 6 months until I finally finished my last treatment in September. I had a PET scan in December and all was clear.
In January 2009 I had my follow-up colonoscopy and my port was surgically removed. I will continue to be tested and scanned for years to come.

Along my cancer journey I have been so blessed by my family that has been by my side, praying for my recovery, chauffeuring me around to my appointments when I was too sick to drive myself, friends, neighbors and strangers that have loved on my family through meals,cards and prayers.

I recall one day I was feeling horrible after one of my treatments and as I sat down to my lunch I found a smiley face in my tomato soup. It was a little gift from God to let me know that He was still here with me! Another time I was feeling blue God sent two birds singing outside my window. No matter how bad it is…Life is so worth living!
God never gives us anything that he has not already equiped us to handle even if we believe we are unable to do so.

Only through the Grace of God can I say “I AM A SURVIVOR” today!

Catching Up

Well I have been chastised for not posting in so long! So let's catch up. We took the trip to Destin for Thanksgiving week and had a wonderful time! Stayed at a Beautiful resort and just relaxed.
I had my PET scan done in December and no cancer was found at that time. Praise God!
Just two areas of concern were found, my thyroid and one of my ovaries had a growth (spot). My Oncologist decided to have an Endocrinologist evaluate the thyroid but we would hold off on evaluating the ovary because it could have been a false positive due to the position of the ovary. Instead we would do another PET scan in 3 months.
Christmas was nice. January was one year since my diagnosis and I had my follow-up colonoscopy and I had my port removed at the same time-YEA! The Endocrinologist did an ultrasound of my thyroid along with blood tests. He determined that the growth was too small to biopsy and the blood tests came back negative for any thyroid diseases at this time. He will continue to monitor me.
We took another family vacation in February to our timeshare in Gatlinburg, TN. We hiked in the Smoky Mountains to see beautiful waterfalls, attended a show at Dixie Stampede, petted animals at an awesome petting zoo, went to a dinosaur museum and snow skied at Obergatlinburg. Well the family skied, I fell after being there a few minutes and hurt my knees. I actually had torn ligament and broken cartilage. I had surgery to clean and repair my left knee (the worse) and I am healing nicely.
My second PET scan was done in March but due to my Oncologist being on vacation I was not able to see him and get the results until April. The PET found the same spots as before. He decided it was time to address the ovary because the same spot was there again.
I saw my Gynecologist and had a sonogram. At this time I am awaiting results. It is one of those things that if it is fine then they won't call and if there is an issue then they will call. I don't think I will get a call. I will see my Gynecologist in August for my annual.
I have been asked to speak at this years Relay for Life. It is a fund raising event for the American Cancer Society. It will be held Memorial Day weekend. I hope that my story will help save lifes and be an inspiration to others. Only by the Grace of God am I here to live for Him!

My Oncologist wants me to wait until December to get my Pet Scan. If all goes well then I can have my port removed. I'll probably wait until January , after the holidays. I decided to stop taking the Lyrica and just put up with the neuropathy. It is worse at some times then others...not sure why.
We had a three day weekend and took the kids camping. We went to St. Augustine. It is one of our favorite places to camp. The weather was good...not too hot. We enjoyed the beach the best. It will probably be the last time the kids will be in the ocean this year. Next trip will be in November to the Florida panhandle.

Feeling better today. I was up with two sick kids last night so I am tired. I wanted to share this you http://www.thedontquitpoem.com/ . It has been inspirational to me. I see my oncologist on Wednesday. I think he will schedule another CT scan or a pet scan and prayerfully all will be clear! My neuropathy is driving me crazy. I spoke to another woman that said it was 9-12 months before hers went away. The prescription Lyrica is alittle helpful but is makes me drowsy. It has to be taken 3x a day so unless I want to zone out it is hard to stay on schedule....aauughhhh! Thanks Nadia and Tammy for the meals last week.

I was excited to know the today I was going in for hopefully my last chemo treatment. My mom accompanied me today. My platelets were up to 86 from last time at 77. My Oncologist, knowing that this was my final treatment ok'ed full treatment plus the bag of calcium and bag of magnesium. Knowing that my platelets will go down even more now that I got my chemo today I will get another CBC and see my Oncologist to find out what comes next. Tough Times Never Last, But Tough People Do! is a title of a book and I am claiming it as my new motto! At times I thought I would never make it to this week! Will keep you posted. Thanks Lisa for the great meal last night!

When your Hut's on Fire

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him.
Every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.
Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements, and to store his few possessions.
One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. He felt the worst had happened, and everything was lost.
He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. He cried out, 'God! How could you do this to me?'
Early the next day, he was awakened by the sound of a ship approaching the island!
It had come to rescue him! 'How did you know I was here?' asked the weary man of his rescuers.
'We saw your smoke signal,' they replied. The Moral of This Story: It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of our pain and suffering. Remember that the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the Grace of God.

#11 down! I went on Monday to get my blood work done and hopefully my chemo treatment. The lab tech brought my sheet into the chemo lounge area and my nurse called my doctor. I over hear her telling him what my numbers are and asking if there are any adjustments to my meds, etc. When she read off the platelet number and it was in the 200's I thought how can that be? I barely got by last time with a 97. They want you to be at least 100. At this point I am just happy to be getting #11 behind me. About 20 minutes later a different lab tech comes in and said to my nurse that she may want to stop my chemo because of some mix-up and my numbers were low. Oh, great! Come to find out I was only at 77. Normally I would be told sorry and come back next week. My nurse called the Dr. again and he said to go ahead with the treatment but not to give me one of the chemo drugs. Yea! He wants me to finish just as bad as I want to be done. How good it feels to know that the next time is my last time! It has been a long road! I started this "journey" in January and it has been a long hard trip. At times it feels like it has flown by and at times it feels like this has been the longest year of my life. I have started seeing past all of this and started planning the rest of my year. We are going to Aquatica in September and camping in October. November we will be in Destin, Florida at a gorgeous resort for a week and I can't wait! We have always wanted to go to Destin but never took the opportunity. Two of the rentals got rented this month and a third will be in September. Only one vacant at this time...Praise God! The kids are getting back into their morning routine after having a four day weekend thank to Hurricane Fay. We were very fortunate in that we had no damage from it. We are very thankful for the continued support from our community and church. We love all of you!